Stuck in the past
by aki-tsuki
Summary: Aomine disappears without a trace. His lover Tetsuya is left alone in the dark, on the edge of breaking. But he's not as lonely as he thinks. Will he overcome the loss of his beloved?
1. The downfall

**Please excuse my english since it's not my native language ;A;**

**This is one my first fanfics I wrote, so don't be too harsh with reviewing :D**

* * *

I remember the last time I looked into his eyes. They were deep blue and had me caught, I couldn't help but stare. They told a story in a language I've never heard before. A story full of joy, pain, love, hate and so much more. Those eyes were beautiful, and I could look at them for a lifetime.

However, it has been four months now since I last saw these eyes. And every night, right before I fall asleep, I recall them. I do not want to forget them, no. If I forget them, I'll forget a part of myself.

The eyes I am talking about belong to my lover, or well, should I say, my ex lover? Aomine. Aomine Daiki. The reason I doubt if he's still my lover is that he disappeared four months ago. Without a word, without a letter or anything. I woke up one morning in the bed hat we've shared, that we have spent so many nights in, and he was gone.

The police said we should just stop hoping for him to come back. After 2 months of hopelessly searching for him, they gave up the investigations. Even my closest friends told me to give up and learn to live with the fact that my loved one is gone.

But other than the police or my teammates, I never stopped hoping. I always came back home in the evening, expecting him to just be back, sitting on the couch shouting :  
„Welcome home, Tetsu!"  
And then I would smile, take off my shoes, go into the living room and nestle beside him to forget the stress of the day.

But this day never came. It became winter and it became hard for me to escape my desperations. I cried a lot at first, and I cry a lot now.

The only thing that keeps me going now is my new light – Kagami Taiga. He's not only my new light at basketball, but he's also my new light to guide me through the darkness of Aomines missing. He was the one I called when I broke down at home, reminded by the silence of an empty couch. He was the one who hung up and left me speechless, just to appear at my door within minutes.

Kagami and I have always spent a lot of our spare time together. Since the day he moved to Seirin, and even now, for we go to the same college. He became my closest friends, though he was not okay with the fact that Aomine and I share the same bed. He never liked Aomine anyway, whose disappearance made it all even worse.

„Kuroko, be glad that this guy isn't around anymore. He wasn't good for you." He used to say in the first days of my abondonment. Little did he know that I loved Aomine to pieces.

But he soon figured it out. I went to college only when I managed it to get out of the bed without falling back crying. Kagami noticed that I really clung to Aomine. And so he stopped expressing his joy about the missing of the blue-haired man. Because he saw how hurt I was by his words.

It is a morning like every other one. I wake up, annoyed by the sound of the alarm. It is still dark outside, which makes getting up even more torturous. I sit on the edge of the bed and could think about nothing but going back to sleep. _It's useless. Kagami will only be worried if I skip lessons again._

And so I get ready, pack my books into my backpack and grab my sportsbag, hoping that Kagami will be okay with playing basketball in the gym after classes. _Why do I even ask myself that. Kagami is always willing to play basketball._

At the station, I can see red hair heading towards me. Kagami is a lot taller than the average, so I can always see his hair in the crowd.

„Morning, Tetsuya." I am nodding. „Morning, Kagami-kun"

I don't quite remember, when he started calling me by my first name, but I don't care. I called him Taiga a few times, but he doesn't like me calling him like that, so switched back calling him ‚Kagami-kun'.

„Slept well?" I am unable to form a proper sentence, I am just too tired.

„Yea, probably."

He does not ask back, he can sense that I haven't slept good, like always since Aomine's gone. Or it is just because oft he dark circles under my eyes. They became part of my appearance.  
On the train, it's full of people and noisy, but I don't care. I sit beside Kagami, shoulder to shoulder, because it's so narrow. And I can barely stay awake.

* * *

I open the door to my locker to get my school uniform. The sweat soaked trainings shirt is already on the pile with other dirty clothes. I stand there with my upper body naked, a towel in the neck. Playing basketball with Kagami has been tough like always, but somehow, it makes me feel better. It makes me feel like I am still here.

On the other side of the changing room I can hear the red-haired boy moving, he was panting.  
In my eyes, he just put a little too much effort in todays training. I lost one-on-one against him, I as just too tired.

I mind my own business again. I reach into my locker. _Hm, whre's my fresh T-shirt? It has to be here..._

I widen my eyes, my mind goes empty and I almost forget to breathe.  
What I hold there in my hand is NOT my shirt. It is nothing that is supposed to be in my locker either.

I stare at the picture of Aomine and me. It was taken one year ago, when we went to a fair. It shows us in the ferris wheel, at night, both smiling at the camera.

„Tetsuya?" I hear Kagami ask from the other side of the room.

„Oi, Tetsu? What's wrong? You look like..frozen. What are you doing there?"

He moves over and is now right behind me. He looks at the photo. And he sees the tear falling on it.  
_Shit, why am I crying now? Kuroko Tetsuya, pull yourself together._

But it is useless. More and more tears fall down on the photo, the face of the man I once thought was my lover is blurry.

„Tetsuya! Oi, talk to me! Move!" Kagamis voice rises as he grabbed me by the shoulders and turns me around. The photo slips from my hand and falls to the floor. I keep my look glued to the ground, unable to make a sound.

„Tetsuya, don't dare ever scare me like this again. And stop crying. Please." Kagamis hands feel heavy on my shoulders.

_This can't be true. No, this isn't happening.._

„What can't be true? Tetsuya, please come down. It's just a photo."

I didn't realize I said those words out loud. But now I noticed that Kagami doesn't know about what happened before.

„Kagami-kun..." I start, my voice is low and I am afraid that it might break. I look up. Kagami stares at me, his eyes were full of worry.

„I threw this photo away after three days of Aomines missing. It shouldn't be here, it _can't _be here."

* * *

**To be continued...**


	2. By your side

Kagami walks beside me, his eyes aren't focusing something in particular, his just looks in the distance. He seems far away from this world.  
We haven't talked since we left the gym, but I am okay with that, since I haven't managed to sink in what happened before. I still can't believe just what I've found.

„Maybe you just forgot about it." That's what Kagami said before. But I am absolutely sure that I threw it away. I was angry at Aomine, so I couldn't bear any more second looking at this photo. Aomine has never been the type to make photos together and act all lovey-dovey, so this picture meant more to me than anything else. I was not easy to convince him to even go on the ferris wheel too.

However, I decided to keep the picture. For no real reason, I just felt that when I threw it away once again, I would completely lose hope for Aomines return.

„Oi, Kuroko. Are you listening?"

I came back to reality by Kagamis words and realized that he stopped walking. I turn around.

„What did you say?"

„Tch, now I'm forced to say it again. How embarassing."

„Just say it, Kagami. I can't be shocked now anyway."

„Ugh…ok. I said that I do not really want to leave you alone tonight. You know..just to make sure you don't have a stalker watching on you..or something."

Kagami looks really ashamed, though I don't see anything wrong in that. I know that the tall boy seems unlikeable, he's harsh and you may think he's in nothing interested but himself.  
But I got to know th other side of him. He really cares about the people he likes, even if he does not show it. He's the best I could've asked for in the last few months. He never left my side when I felt alone.

„And my apartment is closer than yours so, why don't you come over. Tomorrow is saturday so we can play basketball, if you want to."

„Thank you, Kagami. But just let's go to my place before so I can grab what I need."

„I don't think that's a good Idea, Tetsuya..I mean, if your stalker is waiting in your apartment? Or is watching your apartment, then he'll know where you are."

I have to smile. Kagami's really worried about me, that's obvious. And somehow, the feeling that someone cares about me and does not want something to happen to me, makes me feel a bit better.  
Allthough he's theses really sounds weird, indeed.

„Kagami, you worry too much about me. But fine, we won't go to my place first."

I am laying on a futon beside Kagamis bed. I hear his constant, deep breathing. He fell asleep really fast, and I am just glad that he's not snoring. He seems to sleep rally tightly.

In contrast to me. I am unable to find peace in the situation, the events of the day run through my mind and won't let me sleep. On top of that, Aomine crosses my mind as soon as I close my eyes. Actually, I am reliefed by the thought of his eyes, of his face and of his gentle touch. I remember them, because I don't want to forget Aomine and the good times we had.

But this time is different. I can't tell why, though. Maybe it's because he could be the one to return the photo back into my locker? Well, no..he's not around anymore. Whether he's not even in Japan anymore or he's...dead. I don't hope it's the latter one, but well..anything could have happened...

My thoughts drift away, the fatigue of the day takes control over my body and my mind, I close my eyes and fall asleep..

* * *

Sometime in the middle of the night, I can feel myself sitting up on the futon. I am not awake, it's rather a half-asleep mode, because everything around me feels blurry and unrealistic.

And then, something drops on the pillow. _What is this? _I reach to face and feel that my cheeks are wet. _I've been crying? But I don't remember dreaming bad or anything..._

I look up to where Kagami should sleep. But he's awake and looks at me. His face is hidden in the shadows, but I see that he directly stares at me.

Next I feel myself get pulled up. Kagami reaches down and grabs my arm, as he slowly lifts my body up on the bed.

Kagami pulls me in his embrace. His arms are wrapping me tightly and I can hear his heartbeat clearly. His much taller body covers mine without any problems.

And somehow, I feel save. The sound of his heart beating in rythm is calming and I feel myself slowly drifting into sleep again.

* * *

The sunlight shining through the window is tickling my face. As I open my eyes, I get myself sitting straight up, looking around.

At first, I don't quite know where I am. I am supposed to be lying on the futon there but find myself in Kagamis bed. And the raid haired lays beside me, still sleeping peacefully. I am confused, but the then I remember what happened last night. It's nothing but a blurry vision in my head, but it's there and leaves behind many questions.

_I think I was crying. But I don't know why. _

I notice that the steady breathing of Kagami has stopped and as I look at him, he opens his eyes. His sight crosses mine.

„Morning, Tetsuya."

I nod. „Morning, Kagami-kun."

He sits up and sweings his legs over the edge of the bed, his palms rubbing over his eyes.

„Um, Kagami-kun.."

His voice sounds sleepy as he answers. „Yea?"

„Thank you for comforting me in the night."

His head turns around and his eyes are meeting mine.

„You seemed like you needed it. You've been screaming."

„What?"

„Yea, you must've dreamt bad, I guess..."

„But I don't remeber that I dreamt at all..Hm.."

„However, I am glad that you could sleep afterwards. I was worried that you'd stay up the whole night crying or something.."

A slight smile flits over my face. _I am glad he's here._

„Let's make something to eat. You look way too slim, you know. I always tell you to eat more but I guess you're never listening. You need some muscles to catch up with me for basketball and also..."

He walks out of the room, the last words are muffled and I can't really hear them.

But I don't need to, I am still fascinated by the way the boy cares about me.

_Guess I wouldn't have made it until now, if he hadn't been by my side._

And with this thought, I jump out of the bed and follow him. And I feel really rested, the first time for a long, long time.

Around midday, Kagami and I went to a park near his apartment. There was a court and we wanted to play baskettball, rather some streetball.

The sun is shining as we arrive at the court. Though it's cold we wanted to play outside to distarct ourselves.

The playing goes well, when suddenly, I hear a familiar voice behind me.

„Tetsu-kuuuuuuuuuun~"

_Only one person calls me like that._

I turn around to face the girl that is now standing beside the court.

„Hello, Momoi-san."

Momoi smiles from ear to ear as she starts to run towards me. I can feel her arms around my neck, her embrace is strong like it has always been.

„Ahh, it's good to see you again, Tetsu-kun! How long has it been? At least one year! And you still look so cuute~!"

She pushes herself away from me and gazes at my body.

„You sure are as slim as always! But I am glad that you still play basketball!"

The words are flowing out of her mouth like they have been waiting for _more _than one year.

„And Kagami-kun is here, too! Ahah, I see you guys are still hanging out together, it's good to see that not everything has changed, nee?"

I notice Kagami standing next to me, looking at Momoi, who is still smiling like crazy.

I wonder if she's heard about Aomine, they were good friends after all...

„Momoi-san.."

„Yes? Tetsu-kun? What's with you? You look so sad, all of a sudden"

„I just wonder..if you've heard about Aomine-kun?"

Her smile fades within seconds. She stares at me blindly, like I just confessed that aliens were arriving on earth.

„Umm..see, it's not that easy." She finally managed to break her stare, her eyes are noe glued to the ground. I glance over to Kagami, just to see that he's also very shocked. Well, I myself havn't reckoned with such a reaction.

„Huh? So you _know _where this guy is?"

Kagami clenched his fists, he looks seriously pissed off now. And I get a bad feeling, _this could lead into a very unpleasant conversation. _

„No, not exactly..about 4 months ago, he came up to me and said something like he's sick of his current life and wanted to start new.."

Everything inside me freezes.

„Tetsu-kun..I am sorry"

I look up to glance at Momoi. There is real worry in her eyes, but that doesn't really help me.

„I am really sorry but..he also said something else. But I am not sure if you want to hear this"

„Tell me, Momoi-san, please"

„He said that he..found someone else. That he wanted to run away with her"

_Her? I thought..he was into boys? Why would he be into girls after we were a couple for so long?_

„Huuuh?" Kagami makes a weird sound. „But I thought he was gay? He was lovers with Tetsuya after all"

„Yeah, sure. I don't understand it either so I can only recall hat he said to me"

I feel like I am losing the balance. Everything starts spinning around and I have to reach to Kagamis arm to hold myself on my feet.

„Oi, Tetsuya!"

The taller boy puts his arm around my back to prevent me from falling.

„Tetsu-kun!"

Momoi rushes by and the two of them help me getting to the bench on the side. I am unable to even make a sound, I just let it happen. And whatever they say to make me feel better about it, nothing changes the fact that the boy I once called my lover ran away with someone else.

I close my eyes to concentrate on catching my breath, but it doesn't work. My heart feels like it's about to jump out of my chest.

„Tetsuya, calm down."

Kagamis voice is filled with care but still, I can't seem to escape my overflowing thoughts.

_He could've just told me. That idiot. He didn't have to run away without saying a word, leaving me with nothing but the memories of him. _

„I thought you knew, Tetsu-kun. I didn't know that he didn't tell you. I am sorry that you have to learn it this way.."

The pink haired girl sits down beside me and lays one arm around me. Her head is rested on my left shoulder, I can feel the heat of her cheek, but I don't really care.

„Ugh..I think I'll take him home. He needs some rest"

Kagami sighs. He turns around to grab all our belongings together, puts them in our bags and throws them over his shoulder. Then he comes back to me, grabs my arms and pulls me up on my feet.

In the next second I find myself on Kagamis back, his hands under my tighs to avoid me from falling.

„I'll carry him. Seems like he's not able to even stand, so trying to make him walk would be pointless"

Through my half closed eyes, I can see Momoi nodding, a sad look on her face.

„Momoi. Please inform me when you anything new from Aomine, okay?"

„Yea, I'll do.."

I feel Kagami moving, he takes big steps. The warmth of his body is its way through the clothes onto mine.

Without any words we make our way back to his apartment.

* * *

In the evening, we are sitting on the couch in Kagamis living room. The TV is on but neither I nor him really care about what's going showing.

I am tired and confused and I just want to sleep, forget about what Momoi told me before.

I close my eyes and let myself sink against the body beside me.

And then, blackness surrounds me and lets me slip away from reality.

* * *

_Huh, Tetsuya must have fallen asleep. _

Kagami stands uo slowly, beeing careful about not waking his friend. He lays Kurokos head on the only pillow on the sofa and covers his small body with a blanket.

He stares at his friend for a while, his blue hair, his closed eyes and the peaceful look on his face.

_At least in hhis sleep, he founds some rest. I can imagine what he's going through now.  
Aomine, that bastard. If I were you, I would have never let him alone._

As he stands there and watches Kuroko breathing, his cellphone is ringin. A message arrived.

He grabs his phone and looks at the display. Momoi.

„I am sorry, Kagami-kun. But I have to say one more thing: I put the photo of Tetsu and Aomine back into his locker. I thought he should've never lose hope for them both to came back together."

Kagami stares blankly at his mobile.

_She did...what? _

She was the one to hide the fact that Aomine ran away was someone else. And yet she picked up the photo and returned it to Tetsu?

_Something is wrong here. Something is really, really wrong._

* * *

**Sooo, this was the second part ~! I hope you enjoyed reading it. It was a piece of ork for me, b/c I can't seem to really conentrate on writing. Gomen TmT**

**there'll be a part 3, just so you know ~~ :D**


	3. Last words

**Okay, so. I have many things on my mind recently and on top oft hat, school has just started again.**  
**So _please _don't expect this last chapter to be good.**

**I wanted it to end but yea my brain is one big pudding.**

**Sumimasen!**

* * *

The restaurant I am sitting in is almost empty. Not many people go here in the middle oft he day, of course.

_If he was here, we would probably eat here in the evening._

But he's not here, still. It's now half a year ago, but he still crosses my mind.

_Why. I want to forget him on one hand, but I can't and don't want to on the other._

Instead of Aomine, Momoi appears in my sight. I don't know why she wants to meet me, but I am curious if she has some news for me.

The pink haired girl sits down in front of me.

„Tetsu-kun! Ahh, it's nice to see you again!"

She has this excited look on her face, that I always see when she's around.

„Momoi-san. Hi."

She smiles. Her smile seems real, but still…there's something different in her eyes. I can't tell what.

„Why did you order me here?"

I am asking directly, because I can't bear it anymore, this curiosity.

„Ahhhh, as straight forward as ever! I am glad you didn't change!"

I refuse to answer something to avoid this pointless small talk. I _need _to know no.

„Well. I bet you think I have some news from Daiki. That's not really true, but still, there's something you should know."

I almost burst out of impatience. I have to hold back to not scream and cry and run away at the same time. A heavy swallow runs through my throat, which feels like a desert by now. Grabbing the menu out of Momois hands I mumble a low „Tell me" and leave the girl with a shocked face.

„You sure aren't someone to wait, aren't you?"

The only response she gets is an angry glare from me.

„Okay okay, I'll tell you. Rather..I must admit something."

The bright smile slowly fades from her face, her eyes become sad all of a sudden.

„I probably should have told you this a lot earlier but I couldn't bring myself to. You found the photo in your locker, right? Kagami told me about it."

I nod.

„That was me. It was a copy Daiki once gave me, though. But I was the one to put it back..I knew that your world's fallen apart because of his missing. But I didn't want you to give up on him coming back. I felt that he'll be coming back"

_What? _

Just staring at her made me angry.

_She does not have the right to do this. _

By now, I am completely out of words. The anger that swells inside me took away anything I wasn't able to say anyway.

The only thing I feel I am capable of is getting out oft he chair and grab my jacket. I stare at her, at her penitent face, her eyes that looked like they were about to get filled with tears and her mouth that was supposed to smile.

I leave the restaurant and Momoi behind. But it feels like I am leaving my last connection to my ex-lover.

* * *

The way home feels like a dream. And when I enter the house, I had already forgotten how I actually made it here.

I don't know what to feel. I feel betrayed, sad and angry at the same time. Yet, I feel nothing at all. I am used to this by now but it still hits me really bad.

When I sink down on the floor to take of my shoes, I hear a noice from the living room. The sound of someone getting up oft he couch.

My eyes widen. _No. This can't be true._

Footsteps on the floor. Stopping when they reach the door.

„Oi, Tetsuya"

I turn around, but I already knew who he is before I see him.

Red eyes, red hair.

_Kagami._

Relief flows through my heart. I would not be able to face Aomine now.

„Kagami-kun. You shocked me, I had forgotten that I gave you a key to this flat"

He looks at me with a gloomy face, grabs my arm and drags me to the loving room.

„Sit down. I found something and you should see it"

On the table before me lays a white collar.

„A letter? From whom?"

„You know the answer, don't make me spit it out"

I look into his eyes for while, before I take the letter and open the collar. I know the writing too well.

* * *

_Tetsu._

_This comes a bit late but well, better now than never.  
I don't know if Satsuki already told you but there's a reason I ran away._

_Actually, I didn't really ran away. It was more my parents who took me away. Half a year ago, they told me that they won't accept the way I live my life.  
They told me to marry and to have kids and all that stuff.  
Moreover, they introduced me to the daughter of one of their friends.  
„We thought you two fit together", they said.  
And I guess they were right.  
I fell in love with her, though I never thought I would fall for a girl.  
Don't hope for a return, I won't be coming back._

* * *

I am unable to read the last words because tears start filling my eyes. I sink back into the couch and I am more than grateful fort he strong arms that pull me in an embrace.

The last words of Aomine echo in my head, over and over again.

_I am sorry._


End file.
